May 19, 2020

"Schweddy"? Sure. Comfy? No way.

Shane Watson
3 min
"Schweddy"? Sure. Comfy? No way.

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Norwegian apparel company Tonic Brands AS recently discovered the fine line between funny and offensive—yes, there is one— and in case you’re wondering, it resides in the microscopic gap between balls that are comfortable versus those that aren't. More specifically, it is apparently ok to compare ice cream to sweaty (or “Schweddy") testicles but not ok to reference a product created solely for testicular comfort.  

To be clear, I am not referring to baseballs, footballs, basketballs, bouncy balls, gumballs or any other G-rated type of “ball” that comes to mind: For once, your adolescent sense of humor isn’t (entirely) inappropriate. I am, in fact, talking about testicles, a topic that is apparently too vulgar to mention—at least in the U.S.


As an American, I feel obligated to provide the following disclaimers before continuing:

  • Article contains references that may be offensive to some readers
  • Business Review USA and all related parties are not responsible for overly-sensitive reactions to this article
  • Parental guidance suggested (better yet: why is your kid on this site in the first place?)


As reported by The Telegraph, the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office (PTO) denied a request for federal trademark registration for the word “Comfyballs,” the brand’s desired name for its innovative, male-only “comfort-where-it-counts” line of underwear.

Related: MTailor App: Custom Fitted-Shirts Just a Click Away 


The reason for the PTO’s rejection? Balls—yes, literally, balls. Apparently the PTO is quite concerned about our nation’s ability to handle any reference to the “vulgar” male anatomy.

"In the context of the applicant's goods, the mark, ‘COMPFYBALLS’ [sic] means only one thing—that a man's testicles, or 'balls,' will be comfortable in the applicant's undergarments," the PTO's denial reads. "The mark does not create a double entendre or other idiomatic expression. It is a straightforward use of the word 'balls' instead of testicles."

I wonder if “Comfytesticles” would be approved?

Tonic Brand’s founder, Anders Selvig, challenged the PTO’s denial, requested a review the agency’s guidelines.

“The trademarks ‘Nice Balls’ and ‘I love my balls’ have recently both been approved by the [PTO],” he said. “Luckily, Europeans have a softer view on what is deemed to be vulgar and the EU allowed Comfyballs to trademark without hassle earlier this year.”

The ballsy boxers were better received in Australia, New Zealand and the UK after initially launching in Scandinavia in 2013. Unfortunately, American men won’t be enjoying Comfyballs anytime soon: Comfypals, on the other hand, are oddly similar—and much less “offensive.”

Related: Quentin Tarantino Unchained: The Making of an Entrepreneur


In a country that serves Rocky Mountain Oysters, watches South Park (“Chocolate Salty Balls,” anyone?), and once dined on Ben & Jerry’s “Schweddy Balls” ice cream, it does seem silly to solidify the notoriously ambiguous “vulgarity” line based on a pair of boxers and a name.

(Insert Romeo and Juliet Quote Here)



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Jun 13, 2021

Marketing matters: from IBM to Kyndryl

Kate Birch
5 min
Former CMO for IBM Americas Maria Bartolome Winans was recently named CMO for Kyndryl. Maria talks about her new role and her leadership style

Former Chief Marketing Officer for IBM Americas, and an IBM veteran of more than 25 years, Maria Bartolome Winans was recently named CMO for Kyndryl.

Prior to joining Kyndryl as Chief Marketing Officer, Maria had a 25-year career at IBM, most recently as the tech giant’s CMO where she oversaw all marketing professionals and activities across North America, Canada and Latin America. She has held senior global marketing positions in a variety of disciplines and business units across IBM, most notably strategic initiatives in Smarter Cities and Watson Customer Engagement, as well as leading teams in services, business analytics, and mobile and industry solutions. She is known for her work with teams to leverage data, analytics and cloud technologies to build deeper engagements with customers and partners.

With a passion for marketing, business and people, and a recognized expert in data-driven marketing and brand engagement, Maria talks to Business Chief about her new role, her leadership style and what success means to her.

You've recently moved from IBM to Kyndryl, joining as CMO. Tell us about this exciting new role?

I’m Chief Marketing Officer for Kyndryl, the independent company that will be created following the separation from IBM of its Managed Infrastructure Services business, expected to occur by the end of 2021. My role is to plan, develop, and execute Kyndryl's marketing and advertising initiatives. This includes building a company culture and brand identity on which we base our marketing and advertising strategy.

We have an amazing opportunity ahead at Kyndryl to create a company brand that will stand apart in the market by leading with our people first. Once we are an independent company, each Kyndryl employee will advance the vital systems that power human progress. Our people are devoted, restless, empathetic, and anticipatory – key qualities needed as we build on existing customer relationships and cultivate new ones. Our people are at the heart of this business and I am deeply hopeful and excited for our future.

What experiences have helped prepare you for this new opportunity?

I’ve had a very rich and diverse career history at IBM that has lasted 25+ years. I started out in sales but landed explored opportunities at IBM in different roles, business units, geographies, and functions. Marketing and business are my passions and I landed on Marketing because it allowed me to utilize both my left and right brain, bringing together art and science. In college, I was no tonly a business major, but an art major. I love marketing because I can leverage my extensive knowledge of business, while also being able to think openly and creatively.

The opportunities I was given during my time at IBM and my natural curiosity have led me to the path I’m on now and there’s no better next career step than a once-in-a-lifetime-opportunity to help launch a company. The core of my role at Kyndryl is to create a culture centered on our people and growing up in my career at IBM has allowed me to see first-hand how to prioritize people and ensure they are at the heart of progress in everything Kyndryl will do.

How would you describe your leadership style?

I believe that people aren't your greatest assets, they are your only assets. My platform and background for leadership has always been grounded in authenticity to who I am and centered on diversity and inclusion. I immigrated to the US from Chile when I was 10 years old and so I know the power and beauty that comes from leaning into what makes you different from other people, and that's what I want every person in my marketing organization to feel – the value in bringing their most authentic self to work every day. The way our employees feel when they show up for themselves authentically is how they will also show up for our customers, and strong relationships drive growth.

I think this is especially true in light of a world forever changed by the pandemic. Living through such an unprecedented time has reinforced that we are all humans. We can't lead or care for one another without empathy and I think leaders everywhere have been reminded of this.

What’s the best leadership advice you’ve received?

When I was growing up as an immigrant in North Carolina, I often wanted to be just like everyone else. But my mother always told me: Be unique, be memorable – you have an authentic view and experience of the world that no one else will ever have, so don't try to be anyone else but you.

What does success look like to you?

I think the concept of success is multi-faceted. From a career perspective, being in a job where you're respected and appreciated, and where you can see how your contributions are providing value by motivating your teams to be better – that's success! From a personal perspective, there is no greater accomplishment than investing in the next generation. I love mentoring younger professionals – they are the future. I want my legacy as a leader to include providing value in work culture, but also in leaving a personal impact on the lives of professionals who will carry the workforce forward. Finding a position in life with a job and company that offers me a chance at all of that is what success looks like to me.

What advice would you give to your younger self just starting out in the industry?

I've always been a naturally curious person and it's easy for me to over-commit to projects that pique my interest. I've learned over years of practice how to manage that, so to my younger self I’d say… prioritize the things that are most important, and then become amazing at those things.

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